From small to large, I'm an ugly girl. Flat nose, small eyes, pie face .163 cm in height, 120 pounds of body weight. This is me. I never had no one boast beautiful. Because I was raised to feel inferior, so I always quiet, and no one praise me cute. I was very young, I know not with her mother to spend noisy skirt, pigtail to stay, to tie a bow, because I know if I get attention, can only bring more aware of my ugly.
from small to large, my greatest desire, not to be a pretty girl, because I never dared to expect; but I hope I can do a normal girl. just there. My would at first glance like an ugly girl. I know. all the world's story, the poor may be a bad actress but she certainly is beautiful .... Some people would say, Bronte behind closed doors. she did not love life too. This is just a story out of her fantasy, a book.
so I have been self-knowledge. I never spoke with the boys all head down, bangs straight into the eyes of file because I can not wait to use the hair covered my face. like to write her novels, as ugly, so I never have been placed in the position of female partners. boys asked me to book teaser, I will never worry about misunderstanding . because I know this is not possible.
probably the only ugly to bring luck to me is that I do not like beautiful girls the opportunity to distraction, to take the time to dress up, love, Gouxindoujiao. I'm in the girls group there is absolutely harmless, so for school, my popularity has been good. Learning is also good. Therefore, when more than half had been focused pretty girls out, I successfully entered the focus of high school; when the high school another most of the girls were pretty big out of t, I t smoothly into the large.
in my 17 years of age, I look back at the age of 17 before me, I found that I actually was lucky. since high school, good grades equal to honors. The honors go beyond sex, as long as you are honors, you virtually is to be respected, to be girls, boys also.
I have always thought that big girls can enter * are ugly girls like me. Because pretty girls are not mind spending so much learning. but when I left home to Beijing, went to school, I knew I was wrong. Here and there are plenty of beauty ability of girls. suddenly between, I suddenly found himself nothing, nothing is out.
boys mouth is very toxic, and this is my college after the first thing to know. the first month of school I knew the three boys named its beautiful courtyard and three ugly. Naturally, I was included in the latter three. I know from where his girlfriend that evening, one section of the City of Victoria to walk back and forth . long walk, then sat down in the street. I feel very confused.
in the past, I always knew the ugly, so I'm always careful not to be noticed. I try to read, hard to for others, it's hard to want to use the other to make up for their appearance. When I started to become a teacher when the object of attention, I thought I did. I think the world is fair, it did not give me a beautiful appearance, but it gives my wisdom, honor, a lot of good friends. I never blame my parents gave me had a face that makes me feel inferior. I have had peace with the fact that, frankly, want to dilute it with another. I I thought I did.
but I suddenly felt that I was wrong. On campus, the campus bbs, in class activities, in the road, in every corner of life .... I feel the beauty of girls and I like the difference between the ugly girl. I once thought that I could control myself, do not I try to not do. I will be able to make up their own efforts acquired congenital defects. But now I know I was wrong.
At that time I began to blame the world's injustice. ugly not my fault, really not my fault. I have been trying to kind to others, strive to do their things on to others, for their own good. I do not want to harm anyone, and I hope everyone live well. I've never done bad things to the boys, I have never tried to evaluate them. But why am I must be treated like this? I do not blame the parents, it is not that they can choose ; and I can boil down into the fate of injustice. I began to realize the first time, the world is not fair, never will be fair.
time we have a very beautiful hostel girls, very selfish, roommate is handed on. So my roommates are sick of her. But she is so beautiful, she can send away free class, the other hospital, or other we do not know come from the boys. She and several boys fall in love. But even so, still aspire to the pursuit of her boys, no one has ever been accused, her character is not good, her behavior is immoral. She and her class on bad girls, but boys interpreted as because the other girls jealous. the world is not fair.
So from beginning to college, I never thought I would like a boy in the future, there will be a boy like me. I have a diary then, once I write in my journal: it was strange that ugly girl in the world, and finally how to have married out? I have been puzzled at that time. At that time I was curious about their own future destiny, I never thought , who, like me, ugly girls, but also experienced a life in love and then into marriage.
then love and love is very sacred in my mind a very beautiful thing. I can not imagine a boy will be good with a pair of black eyes and there is no merit in such a face, fall in love with this girl from the heart. A thought about this, I retreat, I feel this is ridiculous.
At that time I had a lot of fantasy in the diary a lot. I have written, if the world has such a love in me, I will he very good. I would do him good, regardless of his rich and poor, No matter what choice he makes, as long as he wishes, I can go with him, even the desert and border; the future I will give him every day cooking, washing clothes, bear children for him, for him to take care of their parents, over a lifetime very ordinary life, but to support each other; we will be together at ten, twenty, thirty years, until death, life after life.
but I always knew it was just my imagination. how could someone like me ? Perhaps there is a guy like me, like, like high school friends, but it will not fall in love with me. Love is the outpouring of heart and love heart, love a person, enjoy a beautiful painting like the same. how could I . especially in this day and age, boys and girls are just looking appearance. If a girl pretty enough, even if she made the most irreparable fault, he will forgive you. just like ancient Greek drama in the Helen, when she entered the Troy Hall, a veteran of those who have accused her of saying: immediate grasp, but it is able to immediately outside the defined. From this perspective, boys just love beautiful women, there is no place to blame. It may be human nature.
time I was too young to see anything is is absolute. I have my college is so, every day in the cafeteria, study room, dormitory between the past; and then I graduated to go abroad, to return home to find a job, and then after a three-year-old, I suddenly found that I of their youth, youth age, are blank. then maybe I will go to blind date arranged by their parents or girlfriend to find a man or a second marriage have major shortcomings of men, hastily married. and then, to the old time, I still write in his diary: If there is a kind of person hh
sometimes along the road and saw a beautiful girl walked, my mind thought: If possible, I would prefer to give me a plain girl destiny face, I would rather not have those so-called wisdom, would rather just suck sucks admitted to a university, and even now prefer to use my all in exchange for a little beautiful face ... then I had thought that to change adult form and prefer life to feel the little mermaid. If I can, I think I will. I wish to use two decades of life, in exchange for the beauty of the moment. even fleeting.
Although I have been desperate with their love, but love comes, all assumptions seems to have been overturned. in fact, that even love can not say, because only my unrequited love. a very short period of crush is me brothers and friends, than we have high level. because they are building very close from our floor, and once my computer is broken, I do nothing, he found a good friend took. is that period of time, often out of my computer problem, so one to two to go, he often comes to my computer repaired, we are familiar with. He is a good person, not handsome, but very gentle. a good friend is a good girl, she know what I think, the often excuses to find him and have dinner. At one time, he, good friends, good friends bf, and I, we often play together. We went to Tianjin, in order to save costs, only ordered a four room, ready to play cards spend the whole night. But after midnight, who is also unable to go, and sleepwalk all asleep, I and good friends bed, they play ground floor. middle of the night I feel thirsty, fear of affecting their sleep for a long time to discredit touch touch a cup going to the corridor in the water. I am a road blind, half-turn in the corridor where drinking fountains did not find, but I remember clearly the day came in the in the corridor. and turn turn dizzy, and decided to take a cup of water to the house running water to drink. I took the cup all the way in the past, this is a small hotel, the hall has been broken lights, half-off the corridor, I suddenly felt psychological terror, but more afraid, the more confused, in the corridor in sleepwalk to turn, my heart scared to death. Just at that moment, he came out from the corridor one, as I like to see a savior, when the heart feels, is about to ease a sudden, I feel very safe very safe. He said him up to find the bathroom and saw I took the cup in front of you know, I went to the water, so the back did not close, but such a long time did not see me back, so come find me.
day everything is clear. Moon very white, moonlight far, the end of the glass from the corridor came to play; corridor lights dim. the world is quiet, as if only the sound of our own heart. We had been walking down the long corridor, and he gave me water I want to take, he said: echo of the corridor, his voice soft as a cloud of clouds, wrapped in my heart.
when I go back, but nobody spoke quietly, out of the window shady trees; That is not cool, but I feel very cold, the teeth are chattering. We go back, I drank the water, still back to the original place to lie down. sleep well at night. next up, as if the world to life.
That is perhaps my first love. not later. I never expect too. Soon thereafter, he dropped out to go abroad, we cut off contact. I never dared to say to him, although I have wanted to wanted to tell him. but I do not, I can not I fear disgrace. over many years, I Zeng Qingxing to think I have done nothing wrong. give it to each other are kept a copy of sensibilities. I think he should know what I think, I do not say that he do not say. He knew, but did not say that I understand. I think if I said, he was so very kind, he will make things difficult, how to reject me.
two years later, I always think of him, do not know where he is now, not gone well. this feeling like a kite line, threw in the sky. Sometimes reading, late night, the moon looked out the window to remember that night in Tianjin. window rustled the trees, floating on the warm heart again. I said to myself: I hope you find a beautiful and kind-hearted girl, I hope you peace and happiness forever.
In any case, perhaps he is unintentional, but I have been grateful to him. who is so, you get very little, if once in a while got a little bit, you will be satisfied, be happy for a long time. Some moved, I got to understand the to be sufficient. I do not want too much luxury.
fated love begins with a large 3. At that time I like photography, mm may be because he has been the lack of beauty, so I always beautiful things to those who are brilliant love, want to retain them, mm my bf is a photography forum in the know. But unlike the description of the novel is due to touch each other's work and the like, not so romantic. that forum a lot of people, we would have attention to each other will not. watch the beginning because just because we occasionally find each other is alumni. As a second go, they begin to pay attention to each other's work, and later began to write mail, begin on the qq, began to send text messages.
progress we have been very slow, because I have been warned myself not to think too much, do not hold too much hope that our relationship will be the kind of line that Jianguang Si. I have my pride, I'm afraid that if we really in love with each other, met; and then the next day, maybe he will never disappear. just like online circulation of many, many similar stories. I do not want that to scare away people who I do not want, one day, by his recalled: . I can do is to try to shrink in my shell, do not obstruct the beauty of this world.
many of Stephen Chow's famous lines would be very amused, But it is not right scary. If it is an ugly girl, perhaps, she will be ridiculed as mischief. is this. so beautiful wearing ripped to the streets if that is fashion; if the ugly girl wearing a beautiful dress to the streets, clothes beauty can only be cause passers-by to notice the ugly. So, always be the ugly girl wearing dark clothes, honestly walk.
can not plan, however is the most emotional thing. to the later, our messages are becoming increasingly frequent. Every night, he gave me a message saying: Good night. Then I went back a smile :^_^. we do this every day. it is trivially simple, no waves. forget how the institute to meet, He told me, I told him I was very ugly, there is little known of the dinosaurs. He said: I will regret it. . I think everything is very fragile, such as content, such as kindness, such as interesting, they are actually built on top looks. not beautiful appearance, these are the glass wall, pushing gently with your fingers to break the.
I have been so happy to take your own, and I want to love others, like others love me. imagine a lot of girls like the front of the building every day, said a person can own happiness and sadness, happy times It was to celebrate, spend time with some comfort. without at Christmas time, a person watching the snow .... home alone when someone to help you with even small packages when you are on the train, In the distance a person will wave to you .....< br> However, because I was the ugly girl, even to the hand of these will drift away.
we first met outside the McDonald's in school. peacetime I rarely wear skirts, wore a black day. I never asked his appearance; because I've been to a meeting, I think we must Jianguang Si's. even as I get there, I was to regret , and think I am too sensible of it. even want to escape the one altogether. but too late, he has come.
he came in, saw me and laughed. I do not understand how to identify him in the end I was looking for him. He came down and asked me if he was late. I said no, but I used to let other people so.
He was a tall, glasses, a pair of very bright big eyes. see him, so I feel like Jianguang Si. I was very sorry. We went to order, he insisted on payment, so I'd like a hamburger.
we chatted for a while, and then we push the car back to school. We said goodbye in front of me. I dormitory, lying in bed, looking at cell phone number, my mind blank. desperate.
that night he did not call me, did not give me messages. I thought: This must be the result.
had I expected this result, so since it has been the case, but frankly a lot of heart. took the bag to the study room. the evening was the luxury of In the supermarket to buy an eight-hi, sat on the bed to eat. roommate screamed, said: counting sheep, counting the number, and suddenly felt the cool pillow, turned himself in tears. I realized I had been waiting for his message said: Good evening.
eight in the morning, because did not sleep well , dizziness badly. the phone rang, roommate listened to me, without warning, his voice, he asked me to go have dinner at night. I stumbled agreed well, and then hung up the phone. That night we eat at the hotel, he raised a paper bag. We ordered food, the waiter went out, he took out a rose, said: A total of twenty. there is no trace of defect. It was received in my life the first bunch of flowers. I suddenly asked him: phone battery died. and going about your day anyway, so it did not intend to call .... something? .
This year is the fourth year of our acquaintance. Love is a very brave thing. That summer I said to myself, nothing is impossible. One summer, I always wanted to do more than a decade but has not been put into practice things: fitness, weight loss. three months time, I do not know how to have so much determination, thin out the full 30 pounds. After that summer, I look in the mirror was discovered that the mirror that person has a pointed chin, so clearly outline, large eyes, nose, does not collapse. just how many years ago are buried in the flesh fills the cover off.
I think perhaps I have said now is not is a beauty, but at least I am now a normal ordinary girl.'ll never be a boy called me ugly, my wishful thinking only so far .... I was so much determination must be beautiful up, at least when a ugly girl no longer, in fact, a simple wish: GG too good to me, at least I can not throw him out of his face.
really is very simple ... but the world has always been very simple, hope and despair, often in an idea.
four years is not a very short time, but passed quickly. four years many things have happened, but also enough to verify that I have a feeling ... When looked at old photos and diaries, in the past that I seem to own a little forgotten. a lot of time, I would think: In fact, life can not last, the fate of fairness, may simply not be evaluated. just like me GG. because I used to be a girl so ugly, GG is still chose to be with me; so in the future, one day youth gone, I'm old, ugly, what is the relationship. as long as he let me know that he loves the whole of me, and not those beautiful clothes and make-up under the appearance; that is sufficient. as long as I let him know that he will be only my heart that every day I have to wait for a good night people , whether he will honor rich and poor, are never change; that was enough.
So, maybe I have a lot of pain, I even despaired, but I think maybe I do not thin fate. If those not used to the pain, I might not see as they are now so thoroughly ,.....< br> wordy written a lot .... now graduated a long time, sometimes really want to have the opportunity to current college class of boys say when others in the evaluation of hh, hh like him a lot of little tolerance and understanding when a person's a little entertainment, and perhaps to innocent people caused great harm to hh in life should have had a lot more than looks better, more valuable things more worthy of hh
intention to pursue a beautiful face is the love of God, but the world is balanced, not everyone is born are so lucky .... every girl can become a swan, But the ugly duckling into a swan might take some time and opportunity to remember .... It is said that every girl is a flower, blooming there sooner or later; but the late opening of the main motive of her own also. Even others can not enjoy yourself, you can enjoy your own. No one is perfect, if nature has been the case, then only after more effort to make up the ceiling, from the outside to come inside .... can not fix what is not, as long as you work hard .... even if only a little bit better, maybe life is another situation. ugly girl may be doomed to more effort than beauty, and perhaps may be even worse treatment, such as the humiliation of others ... but shallow, low self-esteem of others is not a reason .... if their fate can not give us a royal road, then we must face this reality ... when young people do not have any to go, but the bucket will eventually be the fate .... fair, I now believe it. it takes away some of our stuff will definitely make up for in other ways. Just like many, many years, I never did like the pretty girl by the surrounding people, especially boys favorite, I even must be that I should not be humiliated, ... but in the end, I got a real love. compared to it, the shine of the vanity of things, smiled, and passed
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